- All family wake up for sehri every day alhumdulillah. My question is during haiz days if both wife and daughter will not be fasting, should the men wake them up for sehri to help the men prepare meal?
- Is it better for men to miss sehri instead?
- If boys ask why is sister and mother not fasting or praying taraweeh, how best to answer them?
Jazakallah khairan. You may respond during taraweeh time inshallah for all musallees to listen.
Bismillahi Ta’ala
Walaikum Assalam Warahmatullah
At the outset we must realize that Allah Ta’ala has structured equitable roles for both men and women. At some time, there may be overlap in between these roles, but on a general level, the roles are standardized in Islam.
Secondly, these roles bring forth the honor, acceptance and rewards from Allah in their own capacities. This is linked to their primary duties designated with the respective roles.
Just as men folks have been stationed as responsible over the women folk with an authority as a house head, they have also been given a sense of liability to make sure that their nurturing leads the family’s progress in Allah’s servitude.
Similarly, this nurturing demands that women folk learn their respective roles expected from their Rabb. A woman has been set out as a Shepard over her husband’s home and their children. She will exert to become the foundational pillar for all the homebound nurturing under the leadership of the husband.
As loft as these words sound, they include many of daily duties and chores which we often downplay. A woman taking strong control over the kitchen duties is nothing short of an essential duty within household. Similarly, making sure that the internal running of the home is kept on its regularity makes her an equal, if not more important role of home-making.
All such duties she performs brings forth for her immense taqarrub (proximity to Allah), and rewards of immeasurable comparison. Every morsel she shall prepare for the every fasting individual in the household will yield her all the rewards of what goodness is accomplished with the energy of that one morsel.
With this framework, start to imagine the wealth of goodness a woman of the house expects to achieve through mundane tasks of home, even when she is not engaged in physical religious worship of fast or Salah.
It is for this reason, she should continue to be the cornerstone of homebound duties and chores such as preparing Suhoor and other amenities for the rest of family, even during her days of menses.
Moreover, it is the mother who will become the role model to show her daughter how to maintain adhkar, tasbeehat as well as other religious deed during the monthly days. While not praying, and yet sitting on the musallah to carry out one’s tasbeehat, or contemplation on ones tazkiya, self-introspection and self-betterment are all hallmark of piety desired among women.
Hence:
- You should still wake them up with utmost love and care, so they do not lose out on an ocean of rewards every single morning.
- Men folk should not miss out a mighty sunnah of Suhoor on account of women-folk being commanded to not fast in these specific days. As highlighted above, if women folk recognize their true potential of reaping rewards aside from fast and Salah in such days, the family will still see them in suhoor times struggling towards their Allah in the capacity they can.
- When boys come to an age of understanding the roles of each individual in the family, it should be clearly and lovingly articulated to them. Menses and monthly cycles are not a punishment, but a regular part of life for women, and they have their alternate commands which they need to follow in these days. They are rewarded for abstaining from their Salah/Fast worship in these days.
When the time is right, this should be explained to the boys in the family so they mature up to understand the roles Allah has assigned for both men and women in Islam.
Wallahu A’lam
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mufti Faisal al-Mahmudi