Assalaamu alaikum Mufti sahab. In a scenario where a husband wants to follow the majority and start Ramadan on Wednesday while the wife wants to stand firm on the sunnah as you mentioned above and start Ramadan on Thursday. I’d like to know on what grounds can this conflict be resolved?
It is strange! But it is what it is. Please help.
Bismillahi Ta’ala
Assalaamualikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Baraatuhu.
First, we commend the sister for being firm upon the Sunnah. May Allah keep all of us steadfast on the ways of our beloved Rasūl ﷺ.
Allāh commands the people twice I the Qur’ān to refer to the scholars for their religious matters:
فاسألوا أهل الذكر إن كنتم لا تعلمون“Ask the people (having knowledge) of the Message, if you do not know.”
(Surah Nahl, Ayah 43; Surah Ambiyā, Ayah 7).
One of the challenges of biggest challenges of our time is the presence of many scholars and councils, each of whom claim represent truly represent the Sunnah tradition. As a result, the laymen become confused as to whom they should follow, given that they do not have the tools to ascertain who is right and who is wrong in religious matters.
Given this scenario, as you described, there is bound to be conflict, and families may even be split.
Allah Ta’ala also gives us another governing principle:
والفتنة أكبر من القتل“Fitnah (creating disorder) is more severe than killing.”
(Surah Baqarah, Ayah 191)
This does not mean to compromise on our dīn, but it does encourage us to seek avenues where we may minimize conflict while still holding to our values.
Taking all of that into consideration, we recommend the following:
1. The sister should try to have a conversation with her husband and try to have him understand her perspective. A difference in dates is not a big deal, and even occurred in the time of the Sahabah (Bukhari). It is not a matter to fight over. He can fast, and she can begin a day later.
We do acknowledge that having this conversation at this emotionally charged time may be difficult. In that case, we recommend the next step.
2. The sister can fast today with the firm intention of a nafl fast. The day is not Yawm al-Shakk because it is certain to her that it is not Ramadan. This year, Eid al-Fitr is expected to be the same for those who began fasting on Wednesday and Thursday, so this disagreement can be resolved by the sister keeping a nafl fast today.
However, after Ramadan, when cooler heads prevail, we recommend that the family has this conversation, as it will inevitably come up again.
Wallahu A’lam
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mufti Wahhaj
Checked and Approved by
Mufti Yusuf